Archives for May 2016

Oh Dear . . . Look whose day it is to blog. You guessed it. . . ME!!!! Which means, you should brace yourself for the unexpected. . . ALWAYS! And today isn’t no exception. So let us begin this journey of the weird, but “not” so unusual saga of the “orange smudge” we call “Donald Trump”. Dundundun!

Remember in my previous blog, I mentioned my problem understanding and . . . maybe exercising the proper usage of the word “empathy” (Yeah, I can be a cold SOB at times). Well I would like to report, with a little soul searching and watching  Dr. Phil, I now understand the “full” meaning of that word. But I tell yah’, what I’m about to blog, “definitely”. . . DOES NOT warrant any and I do mean any . . . “empathy” at ALL!!

This maybe a short story, but it’s sooooo worth it; especially when it involves “Citrus Skin” Trump and “a joke” at his expense (See, there goes that lack of “empathy” again).  It appears as if Trump was involved in a CNN mishap and I quote have “Everybody wondering what Donald Trump’s manhood looks like”. Umm . . . Not everyone, especially  ME! AAARGH!

As usual, “Twitter fein” Trump tweeted to his Nationalist supporters that he was heading to Anaheim California for this “imaginary big rally”. And apparently, CNN thought it would be fun . . . ok, cool to show the reactions from some of their viewers live via Twitter. But it all backfired in a “funny” way.

As reported by Digital Spy, [email protected]aka The Man of the Hour (My nickname for dude) tweeted the following and it slipped through CNN’s censor block. (Just in case you can’t read from the photos below [email protected]_9 tweets to Donald Trump via CNN “Does you *bleep* match your skin color? Like, is it orange?) Yass!

IMG_0140

CjYqjCAVAAAxB3S

Photo from Larry Wilmore Show

And more strangely,  “Cadmium Orange Skin” Trump didn’t respond back. I guess he (Chickin’ Trump) is trying to conduct himself presidential like or is afraid to admit that his father is really a Orangutan. I’m just saying . . . Maybe we need to see his “birth certificate”.

What’s important is not someone offending Mr. Offender himself.  But rather  if that  innocent lowly intern got fired over this “worthy” mishap? Gosh, I hope NOT!

Cgrg256VEAEGdUL

twitter.com

9725895fb2bae4b0bfad331e0661281e

pinterest.com

OMG, seriously when does it end? Women, help me, please… (Groaning in pain). I seriously don’t think there is anything, I’ve ever wished for more is to please, Lord please, let Aunt Flo go away for…ever (in my best Cardi B voice).

mgid-uma-video-vh1

vh1.com

  

Ok so historically speaking this is our cross to bear, for being exactly who we are. Woman are naturally inquisitive souls, we are nurturers, we look for ways to make things better, and we seek to understand what isn’t obviously understood. So, in my opinion, this particular punishments is worse than anything you could ever do to a child,  which is essentially what Ever was at the time of cursing her womb. Take away my ability to gain weight, take away my ability to keep a house clean; you can even take away sex….,…hmmm. Scratch that NEVER TAKE AWAY SEX.

cafb16b23286ef3aa6d10a5d0a4610d1

pinterest.com

But the pain, uncomfortableness, and all out murder scene that graces my lady parts once a month, there should be a way to seek a permanent reprieve don’t you agree. Guys hear me out,  I know this might seem like a chick thing and mostly you are correct, but let me put this into perspective for you. When it’s a women “time of the month” you (if you’re lucky enough to have a woman in your life) are being punished too. This demon beast appears monthly and makes you feel quarantined in your own home..

enhanced-buzz-11348-1366215388-0

buzzfeed.com

The woman you know and love is replaced by a snide, snappy, cranky, sometimes crying semblance of a human being and the girl you know won’t be returning for a couple of days. It also turns the possibility of “getting some” into a shameful act of disgrace because of course the days leading up to the dreaded visit, may be just as explosive. And then mother natures using her sense of humor and turns around and makes your woman become the horn-dog you wish was there all the other days of the month. So, now do you see my point?

Listen, this crazy cycle of destruction inside my body was truly a great line of defense for women to never repeat the mistakes of EVE, but geesh God, give a girl a break…pppplllleeeeaaassseee!

Mind you, I recognize there are times when seeing that particular aunt coming down the road, is a blessing in and of itself. You know like when you had that uh-oh moment after getting wasted at that party, or when it’s your teenage child, and you suspect that she is a little too friendly with a boy at her school, or ummm..hmmm, Nope I got nothing else. Otherwise, she sucks and could really keep her butt at home..

mywombsayshi_illustration_libertyantoniasadler_metroedition

metro.co.uk

Every time I read an article that refers to every woman’s common curse I laugh. I laugh because it’s comical how similar all of our plights are. It’s the one universal conversation amongst all women, of all races or all time. We recognize that look of pain, that pudge of stomach that just adds to the crappy way we already feel; we pray that menopause comes sooner than later. We welcome the idea of hot-flashes if it truly means the end of this monthly insanity. I don’t know maybe having kids really isn’t a fair exchange, those little fruckers can figure out another way to get here.

Shoot, let the stork bring them like parents claim when you’re little. Ok, ok I’m done ranting for now (more like I’m going to go curl up into a ball and pray for forgiveness)

uk_gives_period_pain_leave-hero.jpg__1500x670_q85_crop_subsampling-2

www.globalcitizen.org

Until next time, Veenus out!

**the purpose of this post to poke a little fun at the monthly changes a women must suffer to be able to create life. **

Hey fam! This is Memorial Day Weekend!

This weekend is the official unofficial start of the summer. This is the time you will see everything on sale. Stores are trying to get you to shop and save. From automobiles to furniture to appliances. People are out there trying to get the best bargains. Or going to a bike weekend even going away for the weekend. All the while it’s becoming further and further away for what it was named for. Television’s stations are running marathons of shows like NCIS, Law and Order (not sure which part of their franchise).

When did this happen? This holiday is called Memorial Day! Not get your discount here! This is the day we are to take time out of our busy lives and honor and celebrate the lives of those that lived or died for the military. I admit I wanted to go in the military. After being told I wasn’t old enough for MP school I backed out and went to school.

unknown origin

unknown origin

My dad, uncles and cousins are all buried in military cemeteries. So this weekend I won’t be looking for sales on appliances or clothes. I’ll be thinking of the military stories that my dad told me. How my dad actually met my mother’s family before meeting her thanks to the military. I will also think of the man that my parents selected as my Godfather because he was my dad’s best friend from the military.

Being surrounded by family in the military taught me to respect the military and the uniform. I will forever be thankful for those that served. So for those that look at this time as just a basic three-day weekend, take a moment if not longer and be thankful for our military! If you see anyone representing the military, thank them for their service. And remember that there are women that also served so don’t forget to thank them too!

Yeah, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to say anything else about this character. And you know what? I lied. Yes ma’am . . . I did. Now that I’ve confessed to my sins, let dive into today’s blog to see why.

And here we go . . .

It all started the other day when my bestie aka “cyberspace” and I got together for breakfast. While chatting quietly amongst ourselves and enjoying a fresh bowl of strawberries, something very, very daunting . . . actually creepy. . . caught our attention. And the funny thing about this whole situation was, once the initial shock was gone, Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab” pop right into my head. Yep!

Now, the person “who” triggered this particular reaction and Amy’s song was Mr. Johnny Walker, no wait . . . Mr. Johnny Money . . . no, that’s not it either, Crap! . . . Oh yeah, Mr. Johnny Manziel! Folks, this time Ol’ Johnny Boy has gotten himself a new look. For what I can tell, Mr. Manziel’s decision not to go back to “Rehab” is still standing strong.

Screen Shot 2016-05-26 at 11.54.32 AM
While he (Johnny) continues living his journey of delusions, it appears that Mr. Football’s agenda in regaining his status back into the NFL has taken several detours along the way. For example, his continuing drinking, partying, chasing after his celebrity buddies and possible drug usage seems more important then throwing that football.  And as reported by CBS Sports, Johnny was recently spotted partying in Las Vegas (As usual), staying at The Palmshardwood suite” which cost about $25K per night and getting thrown out of a night club for fighting.

Despite this dude’s outrageous behavior, misguided thoughts on him returning back to football (At this point, he can’t even play Canadian ball), this kid needs help. But ironically (Well, not really), Manziel appears either not interested in seeking and/or receiving help from any of those soul saving vessel out there called “Recovery Centers”. He  rather feed his party life appetite regardless on how bleak his future now looks.

I guess my concern in this whole thing is my “lack” of empathy; especially for this dude. I clearly understand that this guy possibly may have issues that goes deeper then what we can see or his NFL career. That his “entitlement” or “spoil-ness” may not be the only reason for his destructive behavior. And yet, while I understand “all of that” . . . I can’t cough-up empathy for this cat . . . At all! So what I’ve decided to do, is not worry about those of whom I don’t know (Everybody else except for the Obamas) and focusing on “learning” what empathy really means. Umm, maybe I don’t understand the meaning of that word (empathy) and possibly  should not have laughed at that lady who trip over that pothole the other day. Was that wrong  of me to have done?!

 

Wednesday’s blog will be short (Somewhat) and sweet like Elizabeth Warren’s continuous one-two punch at “Tumble-weed” Trump. With no signs of letting up and going in for the knock down, Warren went in for the kill “once again”. She (Lizzie) stated that “Donald Trump is worried about helping poor little Wall Street? Let me find the world’s smallest violin to play a sad, sad song.” Yass . . . *Bleep* you betta slay!

As reported on Huffington Post, Elizabeth aka Lizzie aka MC Warren attacks on the GOP presumptive presidential nominee took center stage this past Tuesday. Ms. Warren called old “Brittle-Pad Hair” Trump a “small insecure” money-grubber person who doesn’t care who get’s hurt when it comes to the all mighty dollar. By further extending her right hand jab, “Momma Say Knock You Out” Warren provided her audience with this tale of how Donald “celebrated” and welcomed the “housing market” bust. Stating that Trump was drooling over the fact that folks where losing their homes so “he” (Donald) could buy up their property for a cheap cost. While continuing to enchant her audience with facts, Lizzie then impose to her spectators these series of questions . . .

“What kind of a man does that? Root for people to get thrown out on the street? Root for people to lose their jobs? Root for people to lose their pensions? Root for two little girls in Clark County, Nevada to end up living in a van? What kind of MAN does that?”

And ending with . . .

 “I’ll tell you exactly what kind. A man who cares about no one but himself. A small insecure money-grubber who doesn’t care who gets hurt, so long as he makes some money off it. A man who will never be president of the United States.”

Like I’ve mentioned earlier, MC Warren is “serving” it like no other. As if her punches wasn’t deadly enough, the “Heavy-weight Champ” Senator reiterating that Trump still refuses to release his tax returns by hiding these documents from the public; and his  1978-1979 taxes indicated that he “paid little to nothing”. Elizabeth pointed out that by Trump not paying taxes, he reaped the benefits and/or services funded by those paid taxes from others.

elizabeth-warren-better-850x478$large

While still standing over her opponent’s bloody body, the “Left-Hook” Senator gave her finally blow with these parting words . . .

“Donald Trump thinks supporting them is throwing money down the drain. I say we just throw Donald Trump down the drain.”

Now that is how you suppose to kick someone’s *bleep*. Folks  . . . MC Warren has done it AGAIN!